Niagara Falls.

Justin and I have some tentative plans to go to Niagara Falls once it gets warmer... I was really hesitant when he had first mentioned "we should go to Niagara Falls" because I just didn't think he'd want to chance going somewhere with me for a few...

Hershey Park christmas fun.

On Thursday, Justin and I went to Sweet Lights and Candylane. I didn't care much for the Sweet Lights, I guess the lights just don't appeal to me much anymore. And then we went to Hersheypark since the Candylane tickets are only $12, so really you...

Calm before the stress.

Classes tomorrow, then off for break on wednesday and thursday. Have nothing due tomorrow because I'm lucky as fuck to not have any classes that made a big paper due the day before break. One of my profs decided not to have class tomorrow, so...

Falling behind on here lol.

I really don't write on here much now. I don't feel the need to write out any thoughts or feelings so I guess that's a good thing? Justin and I are good, he's gone until Aug 20th, he's out on the west coast with some group hiking through the...

7/7.

I think I did my best bullshitting job ever. The quiz in stats on thursday last week? Every single one of us thought we completely bombed it. Somehow, i got 21/25. The girl next to me got that too. And we actually made up the same bullshit answer for...

Feels like it's looking up.

Well. Sad news of the day that honestly makes me want to cry. Kristen (my therapist) is leaving this counseling place in a month. We are going to discuss transferring me to a new therapist, but I do have the option of just stopping therapy. I have a...

So much better now.

Justin is talking to me again. This is lifting so much off my shoulders now. Definitely feeling cautious and taking things slow though.   On another note, I joined this DateMySchool site, it's a dating site for college students and alumni, you...

I want to get better.

I WANT to get better. I want to feel normal. I want to have automatic positive thoughts instead of negative, anxious thoughts. I want to feel carefree. I'm going to continue taking my meds every day, and not (knowingly) skip any days. I'm...

Just another day.

I really need to start just posting more about my thoughts each day.. Reflect on my thoughts, make some positive statements about each day. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical this morning, and I did it all at once instead of doing 15, taking a...

Sudden peace.

All of a sudden, I just felt calm about the whole Justin thing. It set into my mind that he only wants a break and then we'll start over. We still have a friendship. The past week has been a huge stress and worry over whether he's done and not...

New beginnings?

Come to the conclusion that Justin is toxic to me right now. He's gone from constructive criticism to just plain criticism and focuses on my bad rather than encouraging my positives. I read some of our texts directly to Kristen today, and what she...

Stats class and therapy.

Statistics thankfully does not seem like it's gonna be too stressful. Verrecchia is seriously more relaxed in this summer session than during the fall and spring. He's a very straight forward, professional no nonsense kind of person. He does crack...

Strawberries, crafting and being lazy.

Picked over 11 pounds of strawberries last night. Freezing some to snack on, then we're probably gonna try strawberry muffins and strawberry cream puffs. Still working on Justin's graduation gift. Hoping I get it done this week. Start my summer...

Graduation gift: so easy & complicated

Well, my lack of focusing on a single idea has landed me with a brilliant idea on a graduation gift for Justin. Origami flowers, in meaningful colors and types of flowers. Flowers that mean friendship, also going to add some in his favorite...

Beach bound tomorrow!

Leaving for the beach with Justin tomorrow afternoon! I'm excited. Not only am I going to the beach for the second time in my life, but this is a good opportunity to work on my anxiety and use what my therapist suggests if I get anxious. I have my...

Paint, Chinese food and Rita's.

Painted my room today, Justin came downi and helped. We only hit each other with paint brushes a few times. We most definitely are not professionals, as indicated by the paint all over the ceiling and stuff, as well some dripped on my carpet. The wall...

Tiered cakes and beach plans.

Justin and I have decided we are going to try to make a YCP themed tiered cake. Like those professional kind on Cake Boss. We're going to attempt sculpting a spartan as well. He wants to see if we could make one good enough that he could have it at...

What to get into now.

I feel like i don't know what to do with myself now that I'm drowning in school work. It's so sad to say, but I think the past 2 weeks, my life has revolved around nothing but going to class and doing school work. I've forgotten what it's like to...

Relief for now

I've basically been stress free since Thursday. No immediate school work due, all that's left is studying and I don't need to crazy cram for anything. I know I should get started on some stuff for studying, but I just can't bring myself to do any work...

First day.

First day of therapy. When I made the request of a younger aged counselor, I was expecting someone around age 30. Nope, I have this young girl who looks like she's only about 22. When I tried looking her up, what I found says she's an intern therapist...

Greatest day in a longggg time

I'm so tired and just want to go to bed, but I'm so happy I have to capture it in a blog post. Today Justin and I went up to King of Prussia mall. I get so stressed out, panicked feeling and my social anxiety soars sky high when I'm in settings...

Pork, sleet and studying.

Pouring down rain to start out today. Went to a meat bingo with my mom and her friend and some of her family. I won a pork variety pack that consisted of 14 pork loin chops, 8 boneless ribs, and a big pork roast chunk. However I'm not a pork fan...

A crazy I've never been before.

So, I've said before that I've become caffeine dependent to get me through my 8am Theories class, and a lot of mornings that means stopping at Sheetz for a frozen mocha, sometimes with an extra espresso shot if I'm extremely tired. This morning, I...